Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
