This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
