all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
