I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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