Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize