Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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