"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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