Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
