bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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