Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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