apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
either way he was missing a nipple.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
