just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize