Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you never un-have a 4some
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