The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
smell my finger.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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