dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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