i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
