Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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