me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
