yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize