it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
