That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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