Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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