3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
