I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
