some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
