Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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