Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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