Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Randomize
