My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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