So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There r osticjed everywhere
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
