I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
