You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
