How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize