okay pat passed out under dana's car
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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