He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize