Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
