dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
