He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Less talking, more tequila
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
