Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
