I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
