Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
