Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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