It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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