I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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