Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
