I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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