Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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