I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
