It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
