Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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