i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
