he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
