If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm just crazy horny about you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
