Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
