Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
