I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
