The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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