I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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