I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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