i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize