so explain again why im purple
no
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
50% drunk capacity currently
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
