So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
