Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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