I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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