she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was born a porn star she said
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
