Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
