guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
