I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
