Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
