I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
