Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
