the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
where does the pee come out of this thing
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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