Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
