And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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