But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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