My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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