Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
