that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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