We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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