She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
