Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize