she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i came on her dog
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
